Ok, to keep things in perspective, not THE DRESS. Her dress, the only one, if we're being forced to be rational here, that really matters, is exquisite. Perfect in every way. My dress is also very lovely, sort of, mostly.
Let's talk girl to girl for a minute, actually, woman to woman. Anyone over 45 will most likely not understand about "the area". Even taking into consideration that I have lost enough weight to meet my pre-wedding goal, there is a whole lotta girl that is going into this dress, and while I do not despise my entire body, "the area" I dislike with a passion. Oh, you know where I'm talking about, the general tummy area that might have been flat and toned once, but now is going for best-in-show in the "Most resembles Michelin Man" competition. The muffin top, the spare tire, the spillage. On a good day with well fitting jeans and a black tee I can almost forget it's there. On THE DAY standing next to my lovely daughter as
her matron-of-honor (and the two sticks that are the other bridesmaids) it feels like the second I stop sucking it in air horns are going to blast and "will the MOB please control the area" will sound over the loud speaker which is complete rubbish cause every eye is going to be on the happy couple and who cares if the MOB has a r.o.l.l., right?
Here is the dress. The pic is fuzzy cause I stole it from the website where you can see it with much more clarity. The wedding colors are brown, mocha, cream, and pink. The other sticks bridesmaids are wearing this. I will coordinate while keeping with the basic color scheme. It comes up around my no-neck and covers the upper arms nicely, and it does skim over "the area" not cling. (with the usage of the proper restrictive under garments.) So why am I still obsessing? I think only a qualified therapists could answer that.
But wait, it gets better. After some consideration I decide that I will just wear the area-skimming dress for the ceremony and then change into something flowy and fun to dance in (and breathe in). Upon further searching on same website I see the dress on the left. Oh, be still my heart. Love the colors, love the shape. I might even eat cake wearing this dress! I place my order and am told that this dress is being "pre-viewed" and will ship on July 7. Oh. Well, we live in the age of amazement and if I order it to be shipped overnight I'm still golden. Oh happy day. Two dresses, both excellent. So yesterday I look on the site again and see that the dress is now shipping on July 14!!!! I quickly email the company, and to their credit I receive a very timely response, "we'll try to get it early for you, but no promises." I am so not a happy camper. I even have shoes for that dress. (May I point out, not yellow as pictured. What's up with that?) Ergh.
At this point I do what any woman would do, GO SHOPPING! I hit the mall and make a stop into the
Dress Barn and see that they are having a very, very fine dress sale. I go in to the dressing room with an armload of dresses and come out with this one. Once again, no a great picture, but you get the idea. I loved the colors and the flowy skirt and the $29 price tag. I think it might work if the other one doesn't come in time. Shoes are an issues, but I can deal with that. I pull it out today to take the pic and think...frumpy. What is it with me? I need a swift kick in the shorts.
Not to get all serious on you here, but I know what it is. It's the ex-husband and his family that never liked me much in the 22 years that we were married and always thought I needed to lose weight, and that was back when I was thin.....er. They are gonna see me, and "the area" and know they were right all along. Why do we, as women, do this stuff to ourselves? I mean really, who the heck cares what a bunch of narrow minded people think anyway? Right? Right!
I think I'll go eat some chocolate now.