Woolly Mutts

Life is Adventure

It is 6:30 am here at Swedish American Heart Hospital.  Had a little heart scare yesterday so they have kindly offered the hospitality of their lovely, if somewhat blood thirsty, facility. (Just offered up 5 more vials.) They will come soon to take me down for a stress test.  Not sure if I hope they find something so it can be fixed and my chest will go back to being happy, or that they find nothing and Zanax will continue to be my friend.  Stress will make a person crazy.

Everyone here has been incredibly kind.  I wish I had a picture of my sort-of-swanky hospital room, but the camera is home, where I want to be.  Soon.  Amazing Husband stayed with me all night.  I have rarely been so comforted by the sound of snoring.  If only the bed had been a little bigger.  You sure don't go to the hospital to get any sleep.  Or food.  This may be the perfect weight loss combination - mind numbing fear and no food.  Life is good. :-)

AH has gone home to care for the mutts, who were either afraid we had abandoned them (both of my lovely children checked on them last evening) or were thrilled to sleep on our bed all night.  He'll be back as soon as possible, bless him.  I'll keep you posted as answers become available.  In the end, it will all be fine.  It's the stuff in the middle that worries me.

xo

Old and the restless

I was walking down the aisle of our local grocery store yesterday and took a minute to better observe the store remodel we have endured the last few months.  The walls and floors look quite nice , but now I have no idea where anything is....which ticks me off.  I'm getting there.  Each week we go I get a better lay of the land, but most shoppers still push their carts around like lost souls.  I got to wondering if I were a visitor to the area if I would find this a nice store to shop in?  Then I had a really profound and overwhelming thought; I want to move.

Now, if I were a normal person I would chock this craziness up to end of Winter restlessness, but I'm not even remotely normal and I think all seasons should last as long as they are intended to last (even Summer, which I dislike).  I love Winter, and yet, maybe I'd like to experience Winter somewhere else.  Midlife crisis, maybe?  I'd say I'm a little old for that.  Boredom?  I rarely get bored.  Maybe just good old wanderlust. Could I really belong somewhere other than Northern Illinois?

When I returned home I enlisted the aid of Find Your Spot.  Find Your Spot takes you through a lengthy, and free, questionnaire and then offers up a number of places they think would suit you well.  The majority of mine were in Vermont, Maine, and Oregon.  Progressive, four seasons, not too many people, a library, and a yarn store. Not more than an hours drive from theaters and museums, and a large body of water.

 

Not listed, was where I think I really need to be, Grand Marais, MN.  In fact, if I could wiggle my nose and work magic, I'd be there right now.  To be fair, I've never visited any of the places Find Your Spot selected just for me, and maybe there are a few I might love.  

Despite my itchy feet, I won't be going anywhere.  The ties that bind are strong here and, let's face it, unless we win the lottery, the cost of living here is what we can afford.  Still, it's fun to dream.

If you are "under the weather", what exactly is "the weather"?

I have been "under the weather".  Sick, ill, not up to snuff and annoyed. Man, am I annoyed.  There are those that would say that I get sick frequently.  I beg to differ.  I don't get sick often, but when I do get sick it hangs around for ever.  For some reason, and I've heard a number of explanations, when a bug comes around my lungs put out the welcome mat and then proceed to lock the darn door.  (Would a sonic screwdriver be of assistance here?  Perhaps I need the Doctor.) Then, when the bug departs, my lungs are "compromised" and I'm back to daily inhaler use.  My lungs and I are in constant disagreement. 

I am annoyed for multiple reasons.  I was supposed to work full time this week.  Yeah....that isn't happening and thank goodness a little army of volunteers have stepped up to fill in.  Bless them, every one.  I am annoyed because I had managed to achieve a level of fitness that was making me pretty happy.  I'm not talking run a marathon fitness, but I could run up and down steps without getting winded and I had lost a bit of weight.  Now I can hardly pull on my socks without getting winded.  (I did get dressed today, so that is a positive!) All my holiday indulgences are now sitting squarely on my midsection where they will stay until I can get off my arse and move again.  Annoyed...I...am.

On the bright side, I have read and read and read on my lovely Kindle.  Knitting has happened and sleeping.  A good deal of sleeping.  The weather has been fantastic with a nice new snow fall yesterday.

The dogs love the snow, especially Samten.  He comes in covered with white and the proceeds to melt all over the floor. :-)  Slippers are a must in this house.

I see the doctor (not THE Doctor) on Monday and we'll see if the right lung has cleared enough for him to be happy.  Then I see the allergist for a new regime of breathing aids.  I hope to be back to work next week, but I'm not counting those chickens quite yet.  In the meantime, thanks for listening to me complain and I hope this new year is starting with only good things in your lives.  xo

An open letter to our neighborhood late night party people.

Dearest Teenage Cool Crowd,

   Just a quick note to bring to your attention that our field is not a garbage dump.  I realize that in your illegal intoxication it may be somewhat difficult to distinguish between a trash can and whatever is outside your car window when you open it, but I just know if you tried a little harder, you could master this one.  The trash containers are generally located around fast food establishments or gas stations.  Our field is where we run and play and mow and I have to say that it gets on my last nerve to have to get off the mower and throw away your trash.  I have no interest in what you ordered at McDonalds (a perfect example of where a trash can could have been found) or how large the Slurpy was you almost finished.  I especially dislike the large glass bottle of booze that you jettisoned so no evidence would be left on your person.  Not cool, Dudes, not cool at all. So lets try and find some courtesy in that young, reckless soul of yours cause I gotta tell you, karma is real and what goes around comes around (even Justin Timberlake says so).  Start racking up those karma points now for a much happier future.

Peace, Love, and Happiness,

The crazy hippie chic who lives on the corner

And while I'm on the subject of pet peeves and trash,

Dearest Smokers,

     Perhaps it has not been explained clearly to you, but the world is not your ash tray.  I swear if I see one more person open his/her car window and throw out a cigarette butt I'm going to lose all good sense, ram their car and make them eat that disgusting thing. Same thing goes for those that drop it, step on it, and then walk away. I understand that it's a hard habit to kick, but not unlike the teenage party crowd, a little courtesy please.  I'm quite sure that ash trays have not been banned from the planet.  If you have to light up, keep your butts to yourself.

Not so much, peace, love, and happiness,

The asthmatic hippie chic who has no patience for rude behavior.

Have a nice day!

The oddness of grief.

This week I can not get my self moving. It is only Tuesday morning so I should not be lumping an entire week into a day and a few hours of feeling meh.  But man, I feel meh in a sort of big way.  The heat has broken so that is no excuse.  It is an overcast day which usually rev me up, but no revving so far. Mostly a lot of meh.  (You know "meh".  It's the adult version of "whatever", or the hip version of general sluggish behavior.  Plus, it's just sort of fun to say "meh". Meh, meh, meh. Meh.) I know I should go for a walk, or something to get my arse moving, but I can't.  Not now anyway.

So yesterday I mention that this bout of *meh* has me a little frustrated and a wise person asked me how long it had been since my mother passed away.  Two months last week.  Well, this person says, what do you expect?  Grief is just going to disappear in two months?  Hmmmmm.  Some people are so darn smart. 

Apparently, grief hangs about for awhile, hiding in the background and then quietly, occasionally messes with the mojo so you get some days of *meh* and forget that something HUGE happened to your heart not so long ago.  Not that I should use grief as a constant excuse not to move my arse or participate in life, but now and then a few days of *meh* are ok.  I'm ok.

Speaking of, the angel-on-this-earth Hospice worker told me once that the words "it's going to be ok" are some of the most powerful words possible.  It might be hard, or painful getting through the rough patches of life, but in the end you will be *ok*.  It will be OK.  I will be ok.  Good even. 

I find this little journey that I walk with grief to be rather odd.  I expected the tears and the times of missing, but the depression (which is what I expect is really behind the *meh*) surprised me.  Live and learn and maybe pass the chocolate.

The tall, what my mother used to call Tiger lilies, are blooming right now,  I was standing on flat ground holding the camera at chest level when I took this picture.  They are SO tall and planted en masse like this they make quite an impact.  In other good news, the lightning bugs have returned to brighten the night hours.  Also, the Japanese beetles.  Always the good with the bad.

A few thoughts from the dark side or lack of sleep makes Holly crabby.

*It's going to rain today, which is a good thing, but can some times give me a sinus headache, like today.  It can go along with the pain in my wisdom tooth which comes out on Monday,(the tooth comes out, not the pain, but maybe the pain, too) but I'm concerned that the pain level will force an emergency extraction which will screw up the oral surgeons day and annoy all the other patients.  So far the Aleve is working.

*Grief does not play fair.  I do really well during the daylight hours, but the nights are not so good.  My IBS has come back in full force, which I sort of expected.  The attacks almost always happen during the night.  I also dream disturbing dreams.  Last night was sort of a ground hog day theme where every day I woke up knowing that my mother was gone, but find her on the fold-out sofa (which we do not have) and the visiting nurses or Hospice workers at my front door angry with me for forgetting they were coming. (Obviously I have issues with people being angry or annoyed with me.)

*I wish Mother's Day was over, sort of like my unhappy wisdom tooth, Monday is a long time to wait for something unpleasant to be over.  All the MD hype is everywhere, TV, internets....I can't escape it.  The first Mother's Day when you don't have a mother is a challenge.  Next year will be better.  This year will be ok, too, but a little harder to enjoy. 

*And, from the seriously self indulgent and whiny department: I really need to clean the house today and I REALLY don't want to.

So there it is, proof that while I try hard to keep positive, some days are easier than others.

It's a pain in the a*#.

This has been my view for the last couple of days.  My doctor suggests that I spend as much time as possible laying on my back with my knees bent and feet up.  As you can see, Frank the cat questions the wisdom of this.  I have decided, after a couple of days in this position, that we MUST find something to go on the wall above the family room sofa, and the ceiling needs dusting.

I am having a sciatic flare up and it hurts.  A lot.  Standing, walking, laying flat; all good.  Sitting, on the other hand, is not a happy time, especially in the car.  My doctor is thinking that it is a herniated disc, but we won't know for sure until I get an MRI, which won't be happening until......I get back from vacation.  Above mentioned doctor has given me a steroid pack and some vicodin (which doesn't really seem to help a whole lot) and wished me luck with that face that indicates that I'm going to need it.  If I can't get a handle on this sitting pain, we are going to be making many stops between here and Duluth.  I'm grateful that we had already decided to spend one night in Duluth before heading to Grand Marais. 

Aside from the painful whining, things have been quiet here.  Lady Eleanor continues to delight, dogs are good, cats are good, kids are good.  I can hardly wait to stand on the rocky shore of Lake Superior and breathe in the north wind.  It might even snow. 

Life is good, even with a pain in the a*#.

Yellow Jackets

Yesterday I got stung/bitten (whatever) by one of those guys. It, nasty little Yellow Jacket bee guy that it was, flew up my pant leg while I was brushing my hair and stung me on the back of my upper thigh.  I'd post a picture of the bite but lets just agree that it's not one of the most flattering parts of my body.  I'm brushing my hair and I feel this pinch and then another so I reach back and feel a bump which I grab and call for AH to come help me.  We get the pants off and discover the culprit which AH quickly pounds to a pulp. (My hero.)  I was hurrying to pick my mother up so we put some Campho Phenique on it and off I went.  I've been stung before, no big deal.  Well, as the day went on it got bigger and let me tell you that it HURT.  It felt like someone had literally punched me in the leg.  Once I got home again I took some Benedryl and Tylenol and by bedtime it was feeling better.  Today it no longer hurts, but it's the size of a small orange and itches like crazy.  Part of the problem is where it's located.  I can't sit or move without that skin being aggravated.

A week or so ago we noticed that we had a "problem" with these guys creating a nesting area under the eves of our home so we called in the exterminator to take care of them.  (Note: if they had been honey bees we would have dealt with them in a much different and kinder way.)  Some of them found their way into the house and it was one of those that had at me yesterday.  We compromised his living space and he took it out on me.  I get that, but I sure didn't like it. 

*Update: Just returned from getting my allergy shot and the allergist took a look and said that if it was going to kill me it would have done so by now.  Well, that's a relief. :-)

Pass the tissues

New Years Eve and I'm home watching a Project Runway marathon and suffering the worst cold ever.  I have every cold symptom to the maximum level.  Ugh.  Amazing Husband is taking good care of miserable, crabby me.

I did not want the new year to begin without sending out a huge thank you to my soul sister Trina for the spectacular birthday party she threw for me Saturday night.  The food was delicious (she even made me mashed potatoes) and I am still having a hard time believing that people gave up a perfectly good Saturday night to come and celebrate with me.  I love you all. 

Have a safe new year celebration.  I'll see you next year.

It's August 6 and I really hate summer

I know, how could one woman have the audacity to like Michael Moore and hate summer?  I mean really, someone needs to talk some sense into me.  But, alas, today I feel much like my gargoyle friend in the picture; sigh and sigh again.  Yesterday I had a little health set-back and spent most of the day prone.  I probably did a little too much the day before and a step backwards now and then is not unusual for recovery, but I'm still frustrated.  And maybe, just maybe, it could also be the weather. We have been having day after day of 90+ temps with outrageous humidity.  This must be what it's like to live in the tropics.  We get downpours of rain that leave everything, including the air, feeling like it needs to be wrung out.  I feel rather like a prisoner in my own house, cause kids, you can put on enough to get warm, but you can't take off enough to cool off.  One day at a time, though, and Fall will be here soon.  Now Fall, that is a season I can get behind. :-)

  But, enough of my whining.  Time for some positive news!  Have you seen the new Vogue Knitting?  I had to go to two book stores to find it (probably the reason behind my lack of energy yesterday). It's their 25th anniversary issue, hence all the silver, but it really is huge and packed with amazing patterns.  Even a few sized for girls that aren't size 00 and suffering from an eating disorder.  If you go to their website you can download, in PDF format, 10 patterns that are not in the magazine. I am a sucker for a pattern.  Even if the chances are slim to none that I'll actually knit the item, I save the pattern anyway cause.you.never.know. :-)  That scarf on the cover is knitted using Alchemy Yarns of Transformation Sychronicity, which is a silk/merino blend that can leave me speechless and drooling. Of all the yarns we carry at the shop I work in, I think this is my favorite luxury, and luxury it is at over $20 for just over 100 yards. This scarf takes three skeins.  I'm pretty sure I don't love it that much.

  In other how.cool.is.that news, sitting around trying to breathe has given me a great deal of TV time and I am completely hooked on How it's Made.   Seriously, I could watch this all day.  They made aluminum foil the other day.  Fascinating.