Woolly Mutts

A happy welcome

I am just pleased as punch to introduce you to grandbaby number two.  We have known that the pee-on-stick was positive for a few weeks, but wanted to keep things a little bit on the down low until we had a heartbeat and last Friday was the big day.  I got to stay with the Marvelous Miss C while her parents went to get the first glimpse of her new sister or brother.  I realize these sonogram pics look mostly like shadows, but if you look closely there is a little head, the umbilical cord and then a teensy little leg.  8 weeks, 5 days old, so, if all goes as planned, we'll meet he or she in early September.  A perfect time for a birthday!

I am so excited about this I can't even tell you.  I was thrilled when we first learned about Miss C, but the timing was unfortunate.  My mother was in the difficult process of leaving this earth and it is a struggle to focus on the happy when you are saying goodbye to the most significant person in your life.  I remember looking at Kysa at Mother's memorial service, with her precious little baby bump, and thinking about the mystery of one leaving our family as another joins.  There were some hard months for me, as there should be, as there must be after a death, but I wish I could have been more present for Kysa.

Ah, but this time!!! This time I am clear and full of joy for this new chapter of our family life.  The Marvelous Miss C brightens our lives in countless ways with her happy, busy little life.  I can't wait to add another to the mix.  I hardly know what to knit first! :-)

I do know this, for sure.....we are going to need a bigger house.  (or maybe just knock down a few walls.)

 

Thirty

This is Karl.  Today he is 30.  If we do the math (which I make every attempt NOT to do) that would mean that I had just turned 24 when he was born.  I don't even remember who I was at 24? That was a lifetime ago.  Karl's lifetime, to be precise.

I do remember that I was crazy calm all through the pregnancy.  Karl's older sister is overwhelmingly handicapped so one would think that I would have the good sense to be mildly terrified, but I wasn't.  I was happy.  It was back before the days of ultrasound and gender discovery, but we chose only one name.  Karl August.  I don't know what we would have done if he'd been a girl...but he wasn't.

Every mother should have a boy.  Boys are so special and Karl was/is as special as they come.  Boys are messy, but in a entirely different sort of way than girls.  They are straight forward and funny and incredibly loveable.  I wish you all boys.  Boys like Karl, except not Karl.  He is all mine and I'm just SO proud to say so.  (Santa, I know that he is really all yours, but you know what I mean.)

I realize the picture is kind of grainy; probably taken with a cellphone, but look how happy he is!  It was in Las Vegas and he was going to get married.  Did, in fact, get married.  Good times. Karl is this sort of facinating mix of zen and hilarity.  He is quiet, a little stoic, and then he'll say something just nuts and the place falls apart. He is a wonderful uncle to The Marvelous Miss C. I cannot, can.not wait until he is a father.

So happy birthday, Karl.  Thirty isn't so bad and it honestly just keeps getting better from here. I hope you celebrate well for there are few as worthy of celebration as you. Thanks for picking me to be your Mother.  I could not love you more. 

 

A perfect house in a perfect world?

The other day I was chatting with a co-worker and we were talking about houses and where we wanted to live.  Of course my first response was Minnesota, but she stopped me.  What sort of house would I have if there were no limits?  Money, land, space, location...no limits.  The perfect house in a perfect world.  I have thought about this over and over.  My mind has gone down tree lined back roads and along coastal highways.  Up mountains, across oceans and around the corner here at home. I've learned that I am not a particularly good dreamer.  No limits is harder than it sounds.  For me. 

As to location....I really don't know.  Minnesota still has my heart, but there are so many places I haven't experienced that it's possible that my perfect location is somewhere I have never been.  I can say with confidence that near water is a must.   Lots of trees and lots of land. 

The house must be big.  Huge.  Gigantic.

Like Downton Abbey?  Well, maybe not that huge, but I love it just the same. Might be a tad drafty in Winter.

Hearst Castle?  I've visited Hearst several times (all in one week.  It rained a lot that week) I fell for Heart in a big way.  It's certainly big enough and it has the required water.  But no...neither of these.  It has to be warmer, more rustisc, more welcoming, though I would not say no to an indoor pool.

Before you think I'm all snooty pants, I will tell you my dream; that my my children and their families could live with us.  All together in one huge house with private family wings to hide away when privacy was desired and lots of common areas for us to gather.  A viewing room for movie nights.  Game room with a pool table, library filled with books and a fireplace and overstuffed chairs.  A pool is a must with an honest deep end.  A HUGE kitchen with a giant island where the kids could gather after school and share their days and snacks and love.  Lots of love.  Space to dine together if we felt like it, or not...no judgement.  A HUGE craft room with great light, a fireplace (I am quite big on the fireplace), loom, yarn and fabric storage.  Space for art supplies so the kids could paint or draw.  Music room with a big piano. Oh...yoga room!  How cool would that be?

Space.  Space to live and love.  Miss C and all the other grand babies to come could invite their friends over and there would be laughter all through the house. (Remember, this is a dream. ) There would be woods all around and a big tree house.   Tire swings and picnics in the meadow.  There would have to be a meadow.  A meadow by the lake where there would be canoes and loons and swiming any time....except in winter. 

Space to be there for each other.  Baby sitters, chauffers, shoulders to cry on, hands to hold.  Someone there to tell the exciting news or ask that tough question. A house full of cheerleaders and also those to lovingly keep you in check. Space to be together or space to find alone time. 

And, since this is my dream, there is every chance that neither of my children would even be remotely interested in living this communal life.  If that is so, maybe I could still keep the library and craft rooms....and yoga room...maybe the pool..........

Sweet songs

My father was a singer.  That is not to say that he had a wonderful singing voice. He was a deep bass and could carry a tune well enough.  He sang with choirs, men's groups, barbershop choirs and occasionally to us.  The later would happen usually after he had a teeny bit too much to drink, but not always.  Sometimes he sang just to sing.

I chose the photo above not for its quality, it's acutally taken from a newspaper clipping, but because he looks happy.  Happy was not a face that I frequently saw on my father and now, all these years after his death, I better understand why. Still, in those moments when he had a song to sing, I think he was happy.

His choice of song was not always appropriate.  When my oldest child was fretful in the night I would often rise to find her in his arms while he sang "Asleep in the Deep", a war time song written to warn sailors to take care since many of their comrades were "asleep" beneath them.  Grim, but she was responding to the vibrations rather than the lyrics.  Another of his favorites was "The Sons of the Prophets" the  bloody Russian ballad that, frankly, I thought he made up until I found the lyrics in a book one day.  I was trying to explain to it AH one day and he actually knew it! 

He had quite an eclectic mix of songs, or pieces of songs, that pop up here and there for no real reason that I recall.  In fact, before today I filed the fact of my father's singing back in some old mental file.  Then, as I was searching for a video of our friday night concert performers, I came across this video:

 

 

Harvest Moon....and my heart broke just a little.  He sang this song all the time.  As I listened I remembered ever word. Memory is such a funny thing, sometimes careful with what it allows us to recall until we are ready to hold that memory dear.  I have *Andrew and Casey Calhoun to thank for triggering this one. 

My father and I had a complicated relationship.  My birth was intended as a weapon to hurt him and I think it probably did a pretty fine job.  It is frequently difficult to think of him in a sweet and loving way.  Remembering his voice as he sang has done just that.  It has helped open a door to happier memories and that is sweet indeed.

*If you are local, Andrew and Casey will be playing at the JustGoods Listsening Room on Friday night.  Admission is free!

What to get for the man who is everything?

Today is my Amazing Husband's 50th birthday.  I am 4 years older than he is and am somewhat comforted to have us both in the same decade.  Fifty is actually sort of fabulous, or at least it has been for me.  I hope it is that, and more, for him.

I try to blog about everyone on their birthday.  It's my way of letting them know that I think their birth was a big deal.  HUGE deal.  Birthdays are just about the most fantastic things to celebrate that I can think of.  The day the people we love entered this life is a very important day. 

The thing is....for Tom's birthday I am suddenly speechless.  What to say; how to celebrate a man who is everything?  There doesn't seem to be grand enough, passionate enough words to tell the tale effectively.  So, I'm just going to say that 50 years ago in Mexico City, Mexico, a baby boy came into this world who would someday grow up, pack all his worldly belongings in a u-haul and pull it behind his deluxe truck (this is a family joke.  That truck was about as deluxe as a manual can opener.) 2000 miles to become the other half of my whole.   It is as simple and as complex as that.

Many thanks to his lovely parents for providing me with the love of my life.  I can never thank you enough.

Happy birthday, my darling.  My heart is yours now and forever. ♥

Spending time making memories...and remembering a few.

Yesterday I had the most lovely day with Kysa.  (Show above rock climbing with her father.  No worries, it's safe.)  We tried to kill about 10 birds with one trip to the Chicago Suburbs.

We started the day, after dropping the Marvelous Miss C at daycare, with two hours spent in traffic due to a bad accident on 90.  I love my manual transmission car at all times except stop and go and stop and go and stop and go traffic.  Time does go fast when you are in good company and we talked and talked.  First stop was at one of the JustGoods store vendors in Rolling Meadows which took way too long.  Kysa was a really big help..not sure if I could have done it alone.  It was sort of cool that she got a little insight into what my job entails. 

Next was lunch at Portillos.....SO delicious.  Ikea was next up, which I gotta say is a day trip in itself, but we did pretty well finding what we needed.  Got a fan-freaking-tastic parking spot that had never happened before.  Good parking spot= good shopping.  Then we headed to DSW to find her a couple of pair of adorable boots.  It's so much fun to see her shop for something completely unnecessary but really desired. 

After boots we went into Woodfield with a mission to find a few good clothing buys for Cam.  Gymboree was a good score and then the kids department at H&M.  This was my first H&M experience....wow.  Great prices...seriously great prices and long lines at the checkout.  We found a few other things for Cam and also a few things for Kysa.  A final stop for a Cinnabon to gather the energy to walk back to the car and at about 5:30 we headed home...in rush hour traffic. 

It was such a great day.  We talked all day, really never ran out of things to talk about.  We reminised over past shopping trips with my mother that were really good times.  It was exactly 7 when I dropped her back home and as I drove home I thought of how we need to make days like that a priorty.  Nothing can beat that one-on-one time together.  We are so lucky to live in close enough proximity to makes days like that happen.  ♥♥♥

Tonight is a bonfire at about 7.  If you're in the neighborhood and feel like hanging out around the fire for good friends and a smore or two, top on by.

Happy Birthday to YOU!

My Darling Cambria,

  Today you are 2!  Goodness what an exciting year it has been!  In these past 12 months you have gone from baby to little girl.  You run and play and talk like crazy.  You call me Nana now, much to my delight.  That word is magical. I've gone from this random person that you like alot to your NANA. How I love being your Nana.

  We have fun together, you and I.  We run outside chasing butterflies and picking pine cones.  We sing silly songs and color with crayons.  Anything we do together is special and fun.  Right now you love to take things out of one container and put them into another.  I have brought out the box of buttons and you pour them out onto the floor and walk all over them until they stick to your bare feet and need help to get them off. Your world is just one big discovery and I am lucky enough to discover it with you. 

  I think you are hilarious, but in the best possible way.  You run around in circles and shake your booty. You yell, "Go, Bears, go!" when they make a touchdown. (Or something.  Football is not my thing.)  At the dinner table you say hi! to everyone multiple times during the meal.  When your Momma tells you not to do something you give her the exact same look that she gave me 25 years ago.  Priceless and really hard not to laugh.  It's important to listen to your Momma and do as she says.  She loves you and wants you to always be safe.  Still, that is a very funny face.

  Today, my special 2 year old, you are happy, well mannered, smart, kind, brave, and very, very important.  Important to me and to the world.  Your little 2 year old glow makes it a much lovelier place for all of us.  We, your Papa and I, love you very, very much.  We will always love you no matter what.  Every single day from now until forever we will love you. 

   Have a very happy birthday, Marvelous Miss C!  I bet there will be cake and balloons (Papa made sure you got the Elmo balloons) and maybe a present or two.  What could be more wonderful to celebrate than you?!

Nameste my darling,

Nana

Staycation Day 4 - Morning at Camp Nana

This morning, a beautiful, sunny Fall morning, I had the pleasure of the company of the Marvelous Miss C.  Follow us on our happy little morning.

We watched some Sesame Street.  She has crazy love for Elmo and his fish Dorothy.

I adore her little baby feet.  See how her second and third toe are fused together?  This is called syndactyly.  Her Daddy has the same thing.  No worries, just cuteness.

After the sun had dried the grass we went outside.  She LOVES to go outside.  We saw butterflies and spiders, played with sticks (she is all about the stick) and gathered pine cones.  In this picture she has just remembered that last week we found a dandelion with a fluffy head and decided to look for another.  She is tapping her top lip and saying, "hmmm, dandelion...hmmmm, dandelion".

After one was finally discovered and the fluff blown away we ambled over to the garden, had a seat and set all the seed fairies inside some milkweed pods free.  She was fascinated by them.

 

Then she ran..

and ran...

and ran...

"Look, Nana!  I'm running!"  she would call to me.

And always with her was the faithful Cooper.

Which, to be honest, is not always a good thing since he tends to knock her over, but she just hops back up and keeps running.

On one trip around the garden she came back with a flower.

And gave it to me.  

A sweet angel girl running in the sun.

When she went home she had a little bag with her treasures: a rock, a pine cone, a leaf, a dandelion, and a milk weed pod.  Who needs toys.  No currency in the world can purchase a morning in the sun discovering the world together.

 

A heavy burden to carry.

Before my son became a fire fighter I never gave them much thought.  Certainly, I was grateful for their service, especially after 9/11 brought their sacrifice into the light, but the actual act of what fighting a fire entailed rarely crossed my mind.  There is the big, shiny truck and the hose and fire fighters.  But the burden; literally, the burden of what they carry into a fire...wow.

Last night Karl had his gear in the car so he brought it in and showed us the process of preparing to go to a fire call.

 
First up is the pants (don't you love the glowing strips?  There will be an even cooler pic of them later.)  The pants stay over the boots so all he has to do is step into the boots and pull the pants up.  They have a velcro fly and rings to quickly tighten the suspenders.

Next comes the jacket (which is incredibly heavy).  This jacket is like a fire fighters purse (no disrespect intended).  There are pockets and hooks all over it.  You can see the flashlight up on his right shoulder.  In the pockets are knives, other flashlights, his hood (important to keep your ears from burning in a very hot fire.) webbing to help pull people out of harms way, and other necessities.  There is also a little port that plugs into a device so that his captain can keep track of how hot he's getting.  I thought that was just amazing.

At this point I would not have been able to walk, much less run into a burning building, but next up is the helmet.

Shiny!!  This time with his robotic wonder dog. :-)  In the red bag is his face mask which would hook to his oxygen tank.  He also has a vest in one of the pockets that goes over his jacket should he have to direct traffic at an accident scene.  His name is on his back, near the bottom of his jacket and his helmet has a symbol indicating that he is also an EMT.  All this heavy gear so that he and his team can safely enter a burning building.  As his mother, it's all a little scary, but also fascinating. 

It didn't take too long before he was roasting in all the gear and that was in the house with the a/c running.  I can't imagine how hot they must get in an actual fire.  Safe, though, or at least as safe as they can be.

This time of the year is a good time to consider what our fire fighters and police officers do for us and the sacrifices they make to help us.  The responsibility of their jobs is overwhelming.  They are there for us during the worst possible times in our lives helping and protecting us.  Thank you hardly seems like enough.

And there is so much precious in our lives that needs protecting.

27 years of bright and shiny

Twenty seven years ago today I woke up to yet another brutally hot August morning without air conditioning.  I was sick of summer, sick of always having a fan blowing on me and most of all, sick of being pregnant.  I was over 2 weeks past my due date and ready to take my packed bag and camp out at the hospital until someone got this darn kid out of me.   I was huge.  Beached whale huge.  There wasn't in inch of my body that was not pregnant.  Misery, thy name is an overdue pregnant woman.  By dinner time that day I had a new daughter, all 9 and a half pounds of her.  What a joy it was to hold that beautiful, shining child.  Pure, honest joy that only happens when you become a mother.

And here she is today:

...still bright and shiny and the mother of a crazy adorable daughter of her own.

I know it sound cliche, but where do the years go?  When I look at Cambria I can still see the happy, dancing child that was her mother.  Always running, always looking for the next adventure.  Full of life.  And she still is.

Kysa is smart, kind, loving and bright as star light. She is exactly who she should be and I am so proud of her for that.  For living life with such willing joy. 

Happy Birthday, darling!  I love you so.