Woolly Mutts

Let the record show.

Dear Future Denizens of Planet Earth,

   We, the current 2016 residents of the USA, are experiencing a sad state of affairs and I want to be very sure that all my progeny from here to infinity know that I thought that this, (I made it as small as I was able.)

was a very bad idea.  Incredibly so. Just the act of putting up that graphic here on my cyber home was difficult for me. I literally could not bring myself to post a picture.  I'm not sure what scares me more, Donald Trump (whose familial last name has been revealed to be Drumpf.  Just ask John Oliver, who did an amazing job of shining light in dark, ugly corners last night.) who has proven himself, time and time and time again, to be completely without integrity or any moral conscience, or the folks who are voting for him. I fear the zombie apocalypse is already upon us, but rather than turning people into mindless brain eaters, they have simply lost their minds.

For the sake of us all, I hope the majority chose with wisdom and courage.  At this point, you know better than I.

Oh....I would also like to state that, regardless of what you might have heard, Obama was awesome.  He was human and no one is perfect, but I believe he did the best job he was able under the circumstances.

With love and hope for a peaceful tomorrow,

Holly

PS. I supported Bernie, just in case you were interested.

 

 

When life hands you exactly what you need.

As most of you know, we said goodbye to Frank a week ago today. He shared his unique (and often curmudgeonly) self with us for 16 years. Walking away from his empty little body was bitter, bitter pain, but there is another side to this story, a good side with some really good people.

For years and years we had an exceptionally fantastic vet who brought her mobile office to our door once a year.  We paraded our furry family members (if we could catch the cats; sneaky buggers) from the house to the driveway and she helped us keep them healthy. She knew them all with all their little quirks and health issues.  When the day came, about six months ago, that she decided to change her practice focus to end-of-life care we were devastated.  Not only did we love the care Beth gave our family, we loved Beth and Jenny and all the other members of her staff.  This was seriously life changing news for us. But, with love comes support and we have only good wishes for Beth on her new path.

In her goodbye letter she gave us a few suggestions of vets in the area that might be taking new patients.  We did our research and finally decided on Frost Family Pet Clinic.  We gave them a call and did a sort of meet-and-greet with Sam that went really well.  Over the summer Samten suffered the worst allergy season of his life and Dr. Frost had some suggestions as well as a new medication that offered Sam some relief.  We were so grateful, and we liked Dr. Frost and his staff.  All of them.  Every one of them was friendly and kind and willing to listen to our concerns. We assumed we would use Dr. Frost for our animals health, but when the time came to say goodbye, we would call Beth.

Well, you know, life often has other ideas and things with Frank went downhill very quickly.  Monday morning he was so unwell that we knew it was time.  Tom was leaving for a business trip at 11:00 am and he didn't want to leave the task for me to do alone. In a minor panic, we called Frost Clinic and Sue, (I have such love for Sue) said they were booked but to bring him right in, and we did.  As soon as we walked in the door Sue brought us into a room, so we wouldn't have to wait crying in the lobby.  I won't go through all that was Frank's passing, but I felt such beautiful kindness and love from those people, I can't even tell you. 

A few days later a sympathy card came in the mail from Frost Family Pet Clinic. We have said goodbye to many pets over the years and knew that most vets send out cards.  This one, though, this one had hand written notes from each of the people we saw that morning offering their condolences in a personal way. Every person that had lay a hand on Frank that day told us what a great cat he was and what good cat parents we were.  My heart just melted in a puddle of gratitude. Such lovely people.

Sometimes life turns a corner you weren't expecting and hands you something new and sometimes that new is amazing. A million thanks to Dr. Frost and his staff for making a horrible decision as gentle as possible. Thank you for loving animals and for loving their people, too.  Namaste.

 

 

Car Talk with Cambria: Majority Rule

On the way home today:

Cam: Nana, do you know what an Emper is?

Me: An Emperor?

Cam: Yes!

Me: He's like a King.  He rules a country.

Cam: Like a President.

Me: No, we vote for a President......

Cam: Oh! Oh!  I know about voting. Say you have turtles and bunnies and half the people....wait no....you have 15 people and 2 of the people.....no....12 people want, wait, do you want a bunny or a turtle?

Me: I vote bunny.

Cam:  Ok, so there are 5 people and 4 want turtles and 1 want a bunny, then turtles win.  Sorry, Nana.

Me.  What if I don't want a turtle?

Cam: Tough luck. Majority rules.

Indeed it does. 

 

Life without a book?

I don't recall where I snagged the above image or I would give credit where it is due.  It makes me feel happy and like spring is just around the corner.

I spent Saturday morning at immediate care. Sinus and ear infection, lucky me. Normally I ride this type of infection out, but the face pain prompted some medical intervention. The place was standing room only.  I have to say that they did their best to keep things moving, but it was crazy busy.

The woman who came in right after me was bringing her three year old son, Barron, in with a suspected ear infection.  I know his name was Barron because his mother said his name somewhere in the vicinity of 300 times.  To her credit, she was trying to keep him entertained, but three, you know, three can be a challenge and Barron was sick enough to be cranky, but not sick enough to sit still.  He had a little yellow car that he pushed under just about every chair in the place.  He wasn't naughty, just busy.  There was a television screen with some sort of kids program playing, but there was not a chair to sit on and he was too small to see the screen from the floor.  I could feel his mother starting to come unglued after about 10 minutes and I felt so bad for her, trapped as she was between the rock of her son's illness and hard place of an over crowded waiting room. She finally gave up and took him home. I hope she found him some sort of pain relief over the weekend.  I also hope there was a hot bath and a bottle of wine in her future.

Having spent hours in various doctor's waiting areas with my mother at the end of her life, I have "the wait" down to a science. Attempt to find a seat near a corner and out of the main stream of traffic.  Scope out the location of the restroom and the door from where your name may be called.  Have water, tissue, and above all, a book. The book is the most important part of "the wait". Keep your mind busy and time goes by quickly. In this room of at least 30 people, I was the only one with a book. The only one.  There were several people looking at their phones and it is possible that they were reading, but I was sort of surprised that I was the only one with a physical book. Not even any kindles.  Just lots of people staring at the wall. Is this small group of humanity indicative of the larger population? Is reading no longer a "thing"? Are kids now being taught to read, but not to love reading?

Having grown up before the age of screens, I was never without a book and that continues to be true today.  If I don't have a book in hand and at least two in the que I get a little twitchy. Stepping into a the world of a new story is always exciting.  The thing is, I don't know how to make that kind of excitement contagious.  Neither of my children are readers, though Kysa has been doing more reading of late. My love of books was not passed down to my children, even though I gave it my best shot.

I was sitting in my room with Cambria last Tuesday. We had gone through all her sight words and she read me one of her books.  She is a very good reader and was eager to read to me, but what she really wanted to do was earn time to watch kitten videos on my ipad.  So, since it was at Nana's house and Nana is known for being a major pushover, that is what we did, she watched the videos, frequently showing me the screen of unbearable cuteness, while I sat and read.  At one point she stops and says to me,"The library lady told us that a book can be your very best friend." I nod and agree that this is certainly the case.  "I don't understand that.", she says, and I don't how to explain it. I'm not sure how to make a page full of words sound better than a screen full of kittens.  I finally tell her that books have been one of the very best parts of my life.  Hmmmm......she contemplates this. She is looking at my book and not the screen.  She asks what my book is about.  I tell her it is about kings and princesses and being a loyal friend. (The Red Queen, by Victoria Aveyard.)  She thinks about his for a minute and says, "Maybe someday I'll read that."  Maybe someday she will.  Have I made progress?  I don't know, but I do know that if I can give my grandchildren the gift of a good book, that will be a very good thing.

The competition between flashing screen and printed page is one that will go on for a very long time and I admit to having some mad love for my screens as well, but oh a book, a book is such a gift and one so easily given. How lucky we are to live in a time where we can have both.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The art of authenticity.

This is me in 1961. I was four years old and obviously going somewhere.  My guess was up to the lake because I don't recall going anywhere else.  This picture made me smile because my mother always packed things in baskets and now, so do I.

Last week I had an especially good telephone conversation with my wise daughter about my tendency to prefer home alone over, well, pretty much anything else.  She was concerned that I might be depressed, which, just so we begin this post in the most honest way, I most definitely am not. Depressed, that is. I can see how she might have come to that conclusion, with all the alone I choose, but I assured her that left to my own devices, this is my most natural, authentic self.  I am really, really good with alone.

Some of this chosen solitude comes from my childhood.  I was going through a stash of old pictures and almost every picture of me as a child was either me by myself, or me with adults. There are almost none of me with friends and a few of me with a cousin. I'm not surprised; those pictures are a pretty accurate depiction of my early life.  I was a late in life child with siblings and cousins that were all teenagers.  None of my parents friends had young children so I became very skilled at entertaining myself, and you know what? It was okay.  I was okay. I don't recall feeling lonely or neglected.  I had books, a few select dolls, and nature.  It was not a bad childhood for an introvert.

Because, you know, I'm an introvert. I mean like REALLY an introvert.  On a scale of 1-10 with ten being living in a cabin in the woods with my husband, 5 dogs, a million books and no phone, I'm a 10.  Maybe an 11.  Every outing, every opportunity to interact with people is always in competition with whatever book I'm reading, my yoga pants, and quiet.  If I'm spending time with you, know that I love you a lot. I like people, in fact I'm fascinated by people.  I'm endlessly curious about what people think and feel, what is their passion, their joy. I honestly have really good interpersonal skills. It's just that being in my comfort zone is frequently better.

My conversation with Kysa caused me stop and think about how often any of us live truly authentic lives. Everyone has occasion to conform in some way, but I think that for the introvert, especially one as naturally reclusive as I am, there is a certain art to it.  A way to move comfortably through the days finding the balance between meeting the outside world with a kind and positive face and allowing ourselves the joy of our own company.

 After living for almost six decades I have finally come to a place where I am able to be as authentic a version of myself as possible. There is no question, I am more than a little odd, but I'm okay with that. The world needs us odd little people quietly keeping an eye on things. 

Thank you to all of you who keep me from disappearing into the world of my head and for loving all my unusual little curves and angles. May we all recognize our beautiful uniqueness and live the authentic way we are intended.  Namaste.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Frank

This is Frank. He has just returned from a trip to the vet and a very unpleasant blood draw which is why he is giving me stank face. There is no creature on earth that has mastered the dirty look quite so effectively as the cat. This look is mild compared to the ones he gave me at the vet's office. I would be among the recently deceased if cat looks could kill.

If you've been reading this blog for long you've probably met Frank.  He is the first Christmas gift Tom gave me sixteen years ago.  We named him Frankincense and Purr. Being a purebred we thought we needed a name worthy of the breed. All in all, he's been a great cat.  Over the years his loyalties have been fickle.  For years he only had love for Karl. After Karl left home he transferred his attentions to me, then Tom and now he can generally be found on the back of my favorite chair on my favorite blanket. I'm ok with sharing these things because I love him.

So Frank is old and most likely, no.....most definitely sick.  He has been steadily losing weight and with some more recent behaviors we think he could be diabetic. We should have blood test results by tomorrow morning and then will come the difficult conversation about financial burden and quality of life. If a diagnosis provides a way to make his life better for the few years he has left we want to try and make that happen.  If that diagnosis comes with a substantial price tag we will have to take that into consideration.

Having geriatric furry family members is difficult in so many ways.  I wish they could tell us what doesn't feel good and give us an idea how to help. I feel strongly about not letting them suffer, but no one wants to say goodbye before we have to. And then there is the cost. We cannot afford outrageous vet bills (and it can add up fast.  Today's blood work was just shy of $200.) especially considering that Samten is also growing old and Miss Magnolia (queen of the cat world) isn't terribly far behind. I just want them all to be happy and live a life as free of pain as I can provide.  If only it were that easy.

I'll keep you posted on what we find out about good old Frank. He's been a good friend to us for a long time.  I hope we have been the same for him.