I have never been a particularly good sleeper. It takes me a long time for my mind to let go of the day. I can cruise through an entire day with a happy, zen attitude but at soon as that light goes off I become anxious Annie. Meditation helps. Exercise helps. In general, sleep and I have made friends.
That was before the Restless Leg incident of 2012. Today I sit before you a pathetic victim of
INSOMNIA!. When one's legs are refusing to be still it is impossible for one to sleep. Now that I think about it, this could be karma. I used to make fun of RLS. I always have been a learner by experience.
Sunday night I could not sleep. Monday night I took a cocktail of Aleve and Xanax and did sleep. Tuesday night I tried to reproduce said cocktail with negative results and could not sleep. Last night I could not sleep. I was seriously unaware that when you have lost enough sleep everything becomes funny or tragic. I am a sad/funny drunk without the benefit of booze. I bounce off the walls of the hallway when I walk down it. Really....right shoulder against the door jam....whoops.....overcompensate and left shoulder hits the opposite wall. Try not to step on extra-large dog while carrying a laundry basket. By the time I get to the end of the hall I am laughing like a loon. I roar along with the laughing babies on youtube (thanks, Cam) or,I sob like the world has ended when people on tv die or in a book or when the moon is just so beautiful.
So last night at about 3 am I consult the medical oracle that is the internet and repeatedly find the words "this side effect of anti anxiety medication withdrawal is perfectly normal and will subside within a few weeks" and then I laugh even harder. Weeks? WEEKS? With each passing day my IQ drops dangerously.
So I called the doctor and explained the situation to the receptionist who was lovely and passed the message on the nurse who required that I repeat the situation and wasn't as lovely. She would talk with the doctor and get back to me. In the meantime, try not to sleep during the day and get more exercise. I found this concept hilarious. Ridiculously funny. I laughed until I cried. I had this vision of myself on my bike weaving my way along the bike path ringing my bell at pedestrians who were calling 911 on their cell phones to report a drunken biker who was seriously overusing her bell ringing privileges. As for not sleeping during the day, I dozed off while listening to the hold musak waiting to talk to the nurse. I cannot even imagine how I would deal if I had to get up and go to work every day.
RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME SUCKS!!
I love my doctor. He's an awesome dude and I know he'll come up with some solution to help me sleep at night while the meds work their way out of my system. In a little while this will all be a funny story to tell. Baby Emerson will be born, I'll be sleeping when I ought to be sleeping and all will be well with the world. The fact that I can still maintain some perspective is a good sign. These signs, however, are even better.