Over the past few days there have been a great many celebrations honoring fathers, as it should be. Fathers are very important people to celebrate, especially on Father's Day. That's my father in the picture with my oldest, Jessica. I was probably about 18 when this picture was taken. He loved Jess in a way that transcends my ability to comprehend. She lit him up inside and that was not something I saw often in my father.
Our relationship was complicated by my mother who had very little use for Daddy, and none of it good. He traveled a lot, leaving her to deal with life alone and that made her angry. Once he brought us home jewelry from Brazil and she threw hers away. I rescued it from the trash and later, when she found it in my room, she took it back. I never saw it again.
I think my birth took from him the life he truly wanted to live. I don't have any guilt over this; we make our choices and live with them. It's just sad sometimes, to think of what he might have been like happy. My sister, who is 16 years older than I, knew him happy and we talk about him occasionally during our Thursday lunches. He taught us both how to pack a car for travel, to be early for everything, and to read the instructions. He taught me how to suffer in silence and in truth, it's a pretty useful skill to have.
In more joy filled Father's Day news, last night we took all the Dad's out bowling. Did you know they now have toddler sized bowling shoes?
And, little rails pop up in the gutters and a contraption is offered so the little one just has to push the ball down the slide. I don't remember what her score was, but it was better than I would have done without the added assistance.
The Nana paparazzi had a hard time getting a good shot of her bowling exuberance, which waned after 1 game. Then I took her back to our house to play at the water table. By the time her parents came to gather her we were both soaked to the skin. It was good fun on a hot night.
One thing I know for sure about my Father; he would have adored Cambria.