Yesterday a questionable man came into the store. He spoke with the volunteer for a few minutes and then she came to ask me for help. He was a youngish man with wisps of black hair and a sad little soul patch. His coat was down filled (a few escaping feathers here and there) and powder blue. He shook my hand and introduced himself as Kyle. His shake was strong, his eyes met mine and were clear. I could hear his stomach growling.
He explained that he had just been released from the hospital and showed me his bracelet. Probably bogus. I've heard this one before. He pulled out an empty pill bottle and explained that he could not afford his medication. Again, most likely untrue, but it was the best he had. Could he borrow $9. He was working. He could pay it back next week. He swore on his mother that it was not for drugs or alcohol. I was grateful that I was not his mother. I am well aware that an addict will sell out any and all family members and the family dog for a hit or drink.
I gave him ten dollars. Please, I asked him, prove me right. Use it well and pay it back. Buy food. If I knew nothing else true about this man, I knew he was hungry. He thanked me. Shook my hand again. Praised me for being so kind. Blessed my family and loved ones. Left. I sent light and protection behind him and went about my work.
The volunteer struggled with this. She tried to be open, but she was convinced that he was lying and had just taken me for ten dollars. We could not encourage this behavior. What if he goes and tells his friends that we are suckers for a sob story? She was aware that I have sent others who came asking away with nothing. Why him?
The answer is; I don't know. I've heard a lot of stories. Bus fare, broken down cars, food for the baby, taxi to pick up a sick relative from the hospital (the hospital is close by so it often figures large in "I need money because" stories), job interview...I could go on and on and each one breaks my heart a little. I cannot even begin to embrace a world where I have fallen to such a place that I must, for whatever reason, go and ask a stranger for money. Still, I am more likely to send a person to a service provider...shelter, food pantry, etc. than give money. I send light and pray that somehow their fortunes might turn.
Kyle needed that money. I don't know why I know that, but I do. I hope he pays it back, but I won't think less of him if he doesn't. I am at peace with it. I hope he is as well.
Generosity is sometimes what the giver needs. I hope you are well celebrated.
Posted by: Dana | January 19, 2012 at 02:49 PM
Sometimes youjust get a feeling and you must follow that feeling...
Posted by: lorinda | January 19, 2012 at 02:54 PM
I knew there was a reason why I enjoy working with you so much.
Posted by: Sandy Mace | January 19, 2012 at 07:59 PM
It's so hard to trust today. And it's so sad that we no longer do. I, too, hope Kyle used the money well and will repay it. Sometimes we are touched by others and for a reason. I wish him and you well.
Posted by: Lynn | January 19, 2012 at 08:57 PM