My father was a singer. That is not to say that he had a wonderful singing voice. He was a deep bass and could carry a tune well enough. He sang with choirs, men's groups, barbershop choirs and occasionally to us. The later would happen usually after he had a teeny bit too much to drink, but not always. Sometimes he sang just to sing.
I chose the photo above not for its quality, it's acutally taken from a newspaper clipping, but because he looks happy. Happy was not a face that I frequently saw on my father and now, all these years after his death, I better understand why. Still, in those moments when he had a song to sing, I think he was happy.
His choice of song was not always appropriate. When my oldest child was fretful in the night I would often rise to find her in his arms while he sang "Asleep in the Deep", a war time song written to warn sailors to take care since many of their comrades were "asleep" beneath them. Grim, but she was responding to the vibrations rather than the lyrics. Another of his favorites was "The Sons of the Prophets" the bloody Russian ballad that, frankly, I thought he made up until I found the lyrics in a book one day. I was trying to explain to it AH one day and he actually knew it!
He had quite an eclectic mix of songs, or pieces of songs, that pop up here and there for no real reason that I recall. In fact, before today I filed the fact of my father's singing back in some old mental file. Then, as I was searching for a video of our friday night concert performers, I came across this video:
Harvest Moon....and my heart broke just a little. He sang this song all the time. As I listened I remembered ever word. Memory is such a funny thing, sometimes careful with what it allows us to recall until we are ready to hold that memory dear. I have *Andrew and Casey Calhoun to thank for triggering this one.
My father and I had a complicated relationship. My birth was intended as a weapon to hurt him and I think it probably did a pretty fine job. It is frequently difficult to think of him in a sweet and loving way. Remembering his voice as he sang has done just that. It has helped open a door to happier memories and that is sweet indeed.
*If you are local, Andrew and Casey will be playing at the JustGoods Listsening Room on Friday night. Admission is free!
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