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Today marks ten years of being married to my dream man. Ten years of the contented blending of two lives into one unit. In all honesty, I wasn't sure it could be what it is today. I wasn't sure I had the skills to be the other half of a complete whole. It's good to be surprised sometimes.
If someone where to ask me what makes the kind of happiness I need, I would have to say that it is all about the little things. There have certainly been grand and glorious events in the past ten years, but it the small, sweet things that are the glue. For example:
*We still hold hands, even if it is just from the car to the grocery store and he squeezes my hand a bit before we let go.
*He never, ever gives me a card for any occasion without writing something beautiful inside. Always something from his heart and always exactly perfect.
*If he gets up in the morning before I do he carefully slips out of bed and then arranges the covers up against my back, just the way I like it.
*He tries really hard not to snore. :-)
*We always say "I love you" before ending a phone conversation, going to sleep at night, or leaving for work or errands.
*He thinks I'm beautiful. I think he is perfect.
*He always, always, always makes me feel welcome and safe. I never enter his presence wondering what I will find. Even if he is frustrated by work or life in general, to me he is always the same open, loving person. Now that I think of it, that isn't a little thing. That is HUGE.
After ten years I love him more than the day we married and it is an evolving, generous love. Laying in bed last night we talked about how it feels like we have known each other forever and that knowing is deep and honest. There are no material gifts on this planet that could ever be as precious to me as my life with my Amazing Husband.
I worked all day on Saturday, 9:30 -7:30 and on my feet all day. When I took this job I indicated that I would not work evenings or weekends, but my incredibly wonderful boss had somewhere she needed to be so I caved and worked for her on Saturday. I now have even more respect for what she does every day. I stood up all freaking day and went up and down the steps to the store room too many times to remember. At day end I was at least a year older than when I began.
The positive side of working a Saturday was the volunteers I got to work with; 3 helpers all about age 17 and when I say that they were competent and smart, it is an understatement. I have always really enjoyed the teen years. Their brains are so open and the energy they exude is a little contagious. It was fun to be around fun. In the 10 hours that we were together I learned:
*While it may appear that every teen girl is crazy for Twilight and has firmly picked a camp to campaign for (Edward or Jacob) these kids (2 girls, 1 young man)enjoyed the books, but were unimpressed by the films, though all had to admit that Taylor Lautner has benefited from whatever workout regime he has adopted. I had to admit that teen boys did not look like that when I was 17.
*The faithful followers of the science fiction world are all ages. Each of us present agreed that Firefly remains a major favorite and Doctor Who, no matter what season, is still "the bomb".
*Good manners are not a thing of the past. Every customer they encountered got a "how can I help", "thanks so much" and "Happy Holidays" with no prompting from me. Well done Mom and Dad.
*Religious difference can make for great conversation. One volunteer considered herself to be atheist, another agnostic and still another christian. None felt the need to convert and all were interested in the whys and wherefores of the others. I had a brief moment of hope for world peace right there in my work place.
*Girls still flirt with boys. Boys still eat it up.
*Work ethic is not dead.
*I still love teenagers.
It's going to be a really busy next couple of weeks and it may be very quiet here in Muttville (que cricket sounds), but my best wishes for a happy and safe holiday season go out to each and every reader. Namaste.
After weeks of mildish temps we have finally been visited by the snow fairies and what a marvelous job they are doing. The blizzard began yesterday afternoon and, if predictions prove correct, will continue today with more snow and winter wind. Schools are closed and the roads are almost deserted, which is a very good thing, I think. Our street has been nicely plowed (which is a miracle), but I'm still gonna stay all snug at home with my knitting.
The bird feeder, sadly empty of food, is our best indicator of how much snow has fallen. AH thinks a good foot with more falling. We may have a white Christmas after all.
You may have to click and embiggen this one to get the full effect. AH took it last night around 8:00. I thought the lights through the snow were beautiful.
Hope you are enjoying this lovely day as much as I am.
Wise friends gave me warning that this particular holiday season, the first spent without my mother, would be difficult. I listened, because that is what good friends do, so it came as no shock to find that all the things that I find joy in at this time of year are bittersweet. No one loved Christmas or snow like my mother and she shared that appreciation with me every Winter of my life. No snowfall happened without a phone call, and in her later years as her eyesight failed she would call just to check and see if maybe it might be snowing. She couldn't see the snow, but that didn't stop her from wishing it would.
As I have said frequently here, I have found the grieving process to be a strange little journey. Most of the legal loose ends are finally nearing completion and I'm beginning to let go of the anger and frustration many of her choices and how they impacted my life and her death. And now I am beginning to miss her. I wondered if I ever would. The best gift that Hospice has given me is the truth that grief has no time table. We all feel what we feel, when we feel it and there is no shame in that.
Despite the moments of reflection and sadness, it is still the holiday season and I continue to celebrate in my quiet way. A few Christmas discoveries:
First up is Winter Magic
- Hayley Westenra. I first discovered Hayley in a random search for
waltz music and found her Dark Waltz. (Still a huge favorite.) She
was, perhaps still is, one of the Celtic Woman. Her voice is clear and
well suited to holiday music. Song of note: The Little Road to
Bethlehem. It makes me forgive her for a not so wonderful arrangement
of River.
The Annie Moses Band was
a completely new find for me and what a find. This family is so
talented....I can't even find the words. I chose This Glorious
Christmas, but there are a few other Christmas albums that I'm sure are
equally wonderful. I expected some Celtic flavor, and there is a bit of
that, but this album has an almost Aaron Copeland feel to it. Song of
note: When the Christmas Baby Cries.
This weekend Amazing Husband took me to see A Christmas Carol
at the IMAX 3D. It wasn't high up on the movie viewing list, but we
both needed a little blast of Christmas spirit and decided to make the
annual pilgrimage to Madison for mutt gifts. Why not take in the IMAX
while we were there? Visually it was beyond belief. Every single
surface was perfectly crafted. Even the fires in the fireplaces moved
and cracked. I was quite impressed. A lot of the dialog was taken
directly from the original text, which I thought took it up a notch
from the usual Disney fair. I wouldn't say that this was a movie
appropriate for very young children, just as the book would not be.
There were places that were just plain scary. The depiction of when
Scrooge first meets Marley's ghost was was creepily suspenseful. I
probably wouldn't see it again, but I did enjoy it. It was the first
time I've been to a 3D film where the entire film, including the ending
credits, was in 3D.
The local weather people say that snow is coming, perhaps feet of it. I hope they are correct. Stay warm and safe!
