I think I would make a very fine recluse. I imagine, as I look back on my life, that this is not all that unusual. I was a late-in-life child that was raised primarily in the company of adults, or rather, around the company of adults as I generally retreated to whatever quiet space was available to me; forest, meadow, bedroom, book. My personality is introverted, although not impossibly so. I can handle myself in a crowd or meeting new people, just not for prolonged periods. This being the case, I need to create circumstances for myself that take me out of the house and into the world. So, yesterday I quit my job.
Well, I didn't totally bail. I'll continue to teach a class or two a month and I agreed to sub when the need presents itself, but I will no longer have set hours that I am expected to be in the shop. Why, you ask, did I quit my job? Because I needed to. Because it wasn't fun anymore, and at this stage in my life, that is of great importance. That, and a little voice that keeps telling me that I need to be home.
I was watching Dr. Christiane Northrup (who I have respected for YEARS) on Oprah the other day talk about the stage of life that I currently find myself in as "being in labor with yourself". Truer words have rarely been spoken. Wow. For the first time in my life I'm making decisions based on what I want and that is really hard for me. I've been care-taking children since I was a child myself (17) and doing/choosing as was best for them. Making intelligent (and intelligent is the key word here) choices based on what is best for me isn't as easy as it may sound. Quitting my job was good for starters. We'll see where else the road travels. I think there will be more knitting because now it will be something that I love to do, as apposed to part of my job.
Things change and change is good. Maybe listening to my little voice will be good, too. All it takes is courage.