Although my father passed on many years ago, this month in fact, Father’s Day without him rarely makes me sad. We had a complicated relationship, my Daddy and I. I suppose that can be said by many a daughter. I was an oops baby, no use denying what is true. My parents were both 40 ish when I was born and not terribly thrilled about doing the baby thing yet again. They were wonderful parents, though, despite all the issues. My memories of my father are mostly positive. The one thing I know for sure is that he loved me.
Amazing Husband moved from LA to be a part of our lives when both of my kids were teens. He was is a brave man, my Tom. These are not easy years in the best of domestic circumstances, but Tom handled all the frustration and drama with patience and compassion. He is not their biological father and never tried to be. What he has been is a wonderful support and role model for my kids. They have a Dad and he is a good one. Tom has just sort of been icing for them. A bonus Dad.
This morning Kysa called to wish Tom a Happy Father’s Day and asked if she and her boyfriend could take both Tom and I out to lunch. They gave Tom a really sweet card and some movie money as a Father’s Day gift. About 4:30, Karl stopped on his way home from work with good wishes and a gift. What they really gave him was validation and gratitude for these years of unconditional love given without hesitation.
Father’s day is a good day to say thanks. Thanks to my Daddy for the sacrifice he made at my birth. Thanks to my children’s father for gifting me with them. Thanks to my children for knowing a good thing when it happens to them and the willingness to acknowledge it. Most of all, thanks to Amazing Husband for loving me enough to love my children so well. The one thing I know for sure in my life is that you love me.
Kysa, Tom and Ben Tom and Karl (who was happier than he looks!)
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